Samme se aage nikalta love.

1:10 pm, 4th august 2014; 

She kisses vish goodbye, vish stares at her eyes while they share their last glance, vish comes back to his room still struck hard by love and her touch, opens his email and writes...

 

Sunna hai aaj kal bhaut busy rehti hai,

sunna hai ki usske peeche hazzaron pare hain,

sunna hai waqt bhi usse peeche chalta hai, 

sunna hai usski aakhon mein ghera samundar hai,

sunna hai usske hoton mein nasha hai, 

sunna hai pyaar ke liye bhaut bhagna parta hai, 

sunna hai pyaar ko khud nahi pata pyaar kya hota hai,

sunna hai dono roz milte hain phir bhi bhaut bechain rehte hain,

sunna hai usske nazarriye se deko toh bina kisi shart mohhobat milti hai,

sunna hai vo aaj yahan humare dil ki gali mein dubara ayi thi,

sunna hai humara ashiq aaj phir kuch behaal sa hai, 

sunna hai usska choona hi kafi rehta hai,

sunna hai diwano ko pagal, aur aashiqon ko parwana banana janti hai,

sunna hai usse khone ka dar rehta hai paane ke baad,

sunna hai vo samme ko maat de kar pyaar ki aor barti hai,

sunna hai is duniya mein sari kushi usske muskurane se shuru, aur sari nirasha usske ek aasoon tapkane se paida hoti hai,

asse adbhud shakti par mein apni khud ki jaan nauchavar kar yahan baitha hoon...

Hijacked by love.

Sometimes pretty, sometimes way too hot! Sometimes cute, sometimes just the way she is. Mostly I want her bad. Occasionally she likes to dress up as an aunty. Some days I just want to hold hands with her and sip on alcohol till tranquility sets in, sitting beside our favorite lake with our heads resting on each other, assuring our dependency, completing the impeccable picture I sometimes dreamt of. Some days we want to get all adventurous, on some days stay indoors and stay cozy. Most nights I just want lay down and listen to her talk till dreamland arrives. Some days we...she likes to fight! Some days I want to give her all my affection, on some days I would like to cook for her.  Rare days I would like to click her and hope for another masterpiece, some days I want to wrap my arms around her, kiss and smile at her. MOST days we struggle to find us a corner away from the world and the people. Sometimes I hope for a new start with her parents! Whenever possible I would like to share happy news with her. Sometimes we like to wrestle! ALWAYS I want to lift and throw her on my bed. I can’t forget her hand fidgeting with my neck when I am driving.

I walk towards this girl, she is brimming with shopping bags of every colour, it’s hard to break that eye contact from her in a crowded mall even from a distance. Every now and then I like to realize and tell her how hot she looks, today I would like to blog her down. Each day I find myself fortunate enough as she understands my opinion, on ALL days it is relieve to date someone so insightful. Sometime I would like to choreograph funny family dance performances with her, each day I love that fitness is our agenda, I really wish we could work out together! Every morning I’d love to hear her voice wake me up also a reassurance that the love never stopped flowing; the late night conversation till the morning. Sometimes I wonder how with such ease and a smile you would simply forgive. Sometimes I miss feeding her food apne haat se, maybe feed her schezwan frankies each day just to see her grow fat.

Some days I like her drunk, some days I want to give her that tight, squeezing, breath strangling hug. Sometimes I miss getting drunk while she sits and hugs me from behind. It shall always be worth looking up this blog and cherishing her hushed personality, to the way she is and especially to the way we are together. Oh boy! It sometimes seems as if…

 I have been hijacked by love.

Hard to believe?

When you spare a make up smile, 

I'm instantly your biggest fan. 

How was I to know, 

That you practiced it beforehand?

Words of wisdom from a pothead.

Its funny how women have been a great inspiration for this blog to run but whats wrong with that anyway.

So a quick introduction; she's insulting, has a mole on her right cheek, drives an old white zen, has a boombox which looks a 34 b boob with no nipples, is a big time pothead(should have begun with that), always has maal on her, loves photography, had red streaks once, met me through another tharkey friend, has cool stitch slippers, is a die hard coldplay fan(could have begun with this too!) and this could be a never ending list so let me move beyond this introduction.

Sometimes I'd completely say something random and then laugh at people around me who'd try to make sense out of it, its a bit disturbing I know but what's funnier is that this chick makes sense out of the all the unorganized thoughts that I'd throw at her, those which after a point start sounding random to me.

It surprises me. 

(2 weeks skipped)

I told her I like her, was pretty sure she liked me back too. How was i sure? Vibes! I believe they are involuntary and they communicate a persons emotional state which is easily felt by others around them.

Her's hit me at the exact same frequency as mine. For me she's become one of the people who's reputation precedes her, when you introduces her to your friends, they already know who she is because you have already talked about her. She nearly ticks all the boxes listed under the perfect girl category.

But is there a break from this vicious cycle of love and destruction and why does it have to come in anyway? cause humans have been designed like that? on the other hand the heartache has its own rate of decay and it hardly coincides with when we think it ought to go. 

But leaving all of this aside, the pothead says "lets go with the flow"  :)

To those days when pictures were taken for memories and not for facebook profiles...

Beauty and brains.

I met this "older woman" (she likes to be called one) who I knew since quite a while but there was this side of hers which I got introduced to lately.

Came again the late night love songs days, trying to find endless meanings and connections to them and honestly this is the first time I can see myself falling for someone who was completely out of the league. She has beauty and brains and not to forget shes older to me yet again a natural age disparity which cannot be helped but some how I never saw it as a hitch to tell her how I feel about her.

There was so much I wanted her to know but she said she couldn’t do it on texts and so couldn’t I.
Before things get muddled she replied in a downbeat which was the boss’s final word !

The next crisis was that I had never be rejected and this one came too rigid on me.

There was no way I could reach her echelon and with this final thought I decided to forget. We had no future.. and from personal experience she didn’t want me to get hurt which I understood or maybe I didn’t..
“tere pyaar ki toh pungii baj gayi hai” said a close friend of mine.. they are all equally shocked to see me in this shape cause they’ve never seen me taking life this sincerely. But this wasn't love, I was attracted to her personality, her taste of music and her work.

I’m sure you’ve heard this story of a man cribbing about not being able to walk properly till God shows him someone who didn’t have legs atall.
Analogously one of my good friend told me his love story which completely distorted my depressive state .. I promised not to share it with anyone.
But again I thought these chattels and talks don’t match her stratum and yet again its pointless thinking of a future with her.
But for her endearing beauty and cerebral brain this is what I found …

Have you ever wished,
you were in her genes?
Pretty as a picture,
but not what she seems.

Have you ever wished,
you could be that smart?
Ideas overflowing,
with no place to park.

Trying to perfect,
every little part.
Always fighting aging,
hoping for a new start.

Off into trivia,
puzzles and games.
Pushing the formula,
to ever higher gains.

Attracting attention,
with every move.
Using sexual tension,
to a higher groove.

Withdrawing from others,
into your shell.
Perfecting the implements,
for your own kind of hell.

Natural selection,
got you this far.
Store-bought selection,
raises the bar.

No one understands,
who you really are.
Looking for love,
that's always too far.

Because you're a star,
of your own making.
A star so misunderstood,
my heart is breaking.
- Ronald W. Hull

The song thats lately been on my mind..